Just appreciate them and move on.

I read a post by Captain Awkward that made me think quite a bit.

“If the mean people in our lives were crappy 100% of the time, it would be easy to leave them.”

“The problem is that very few people are evil all the time.”

No matter how unhealthy a relationship (romantic or not) may be for you, there are bound to be nice things that you’ve shared. There will always be things you can look back on that make you smile and they are dangerous, because you will be tempted to use them as excuses for that person’s damaging behaviour.

The trick is to appreciate those moments for what they were and leave it at that. But with any attachment comes residue, like those pesky stickers some stores insist on adhering to glass that leave behind annoying glue marks.

I think it takes a lot of self-taught, hard earned conviction for that residue to be wiped clean. At first there is always doubt, wondering how you will move on and questioning whether the distance is a mistake. But eventually the doubts subside, you work through the minutes, hours, days without them and you step back and appreciate the space.


Distance can put an entire relationship into perspective, because you realize the differences in your life without them there. Freeing yourself from a sour relationship will give you room to breathe and grow. Once you wake up and notice the decrease in anxiety, the increase in self-esteem, and the overall weight lifted off your chest, it’s hard to remember why you stuck around in the first place.

As I said in a previous post, “this isn’t about forgetting. It’s about realizing when it’s time to appreciate the past for what it is and creating something new.”

The most important thing is allowing yourself that freedom. It’s imperative that you do not get caught up in the memories as if they have the likelihood of repeating themselves. They don’t and you will only be disappointed if you try to make that happen. If we could repeat all of the good things, we would never create anything new.



~ by Moonstruck on February 19, 2014.

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